This is the first in my series of commandments to live a lot more brilliant and a little more like a bastard. They'll be broken down into easy to digest bite size chunks for your reading pleasure. Disclaimer: Following these guidelines will in no way guarantee you become as awesome as I am. They will however give you some much needed perspective.
COMMANDMENT ONE: Work hard to play harder
"Work is hard" and I couldn't agree more. No no one enjoys getting up at six a.m. to go somewhere they don't get paid enough to care about for eight to ten hours a day. Why do we do it? A) You wanna get paid and B) (the unsung hero) So you can party like a goddam rock star. Nothing is more satisfying then a beer or shot after a long, grueling, day at work. You can't party every day, and guess what? your life would be hollow and unfulfilling if you did. It doesn't matter how much booze you suck down, crazy stories you made, or how many ladies you crashed and burned with you would never feel satisfied. This is how it works: You can't have day without night, you can have ying without yang, and you can't have a good party without some work to back it up. The reason I work hard is to not only get paid but to make partying so goddamn satisfying. It's the contrast that makes things memorable. Toiling away listening to self entitles fucks tell me they shouldn't have to pay a late fee for 11 hours makes that first shot of Jagermesiter into the nectar of the goddamn shitfaced gods. It's fucking euphoric, every muscle expels four tons of frustrated tension that has built up over the course of my work week, a big shit eating grin runs across my face and guess what? I earned it (and so will you). This moment is not brought on by jacking off for 18 hours a day and eating nothing but hot pockets. You earn the nectar of Dionysus' tit (be it whisky, wine, beer, or some godawful shot of Cuervo) by working hard and then turning around and having a great fucking time.
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